Addiction #1

It's such a daunting word that one - addiction.

Many people would hear that word and think it doesn't apply to them. I'm not addicted to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs (legal or otherwise) so don't talk to me about addiction - I'm not an addict. But I think we are all addicted (to some degree) to something, be it food, drink, medications, behaviours ... I know I am addicted to several things. One of them is ...

Chocolate.

(It's so special it needs its' own paragraph.)

I hear you thinking yeah, yeah, that's what we all say when we're talking about addictions to make it seem somewhat acceptable. But I'm serious...

Hi My name is Myra and I'm a Chocoholic.

Ever since I used to climb up on the bench as a young'n and sneak spoonfuls of milo, to the teen years when I bought a Mars bar most weeks with the hope I would get the free Mars prize inside the wrapper (which would be immediately eaten when won), to CCNZ (all that chocolate milk & King Size Cadbury holdouts on the hill by the shop), to adulthood and the freedom to buy and eat as much chocolate as I ever wanted ... this addiction has been cultured throughout my 40 years of life and in the past 20 it's been a constant battle.

Once I went chocolate free for 9 months - never craved it (after the initial days of wanting to scratch my eyes out I wanted it so bad). Then someone somewhere offered me a piece of a slice that had a bit of chocolate on it. I remember that moment - I thought to myself ' ... it's just a tiny bit ... the main ingredient isn't chocolate ...' ... and I partook. Then the next time I was at a morning tea or something, I justified again in my head 'well I'm not really chocolate free anymore so I'll just have a little bit and manage my chocolate intake'.

Mea rawa ake (nek minnit) I'm back where I started.

Actually these days I'm not too bad ... but here's the problem - if I have this stuff around me, I can't just eat a tiny piece or two and then leave it for the next day or so. So we don't buy chocolate anymore because if we do ... that bar of chocolate in the fridge is calling my name all day - and I can't leave it hanging. I have to visit it repeatedly throughout the day and give it a high-five, snap off a row and chow down.

When I get down to the last couple of pieces I usually stop. It's tough but I can't eat that last row unless something tips me over the edge - like I'm angry or stressed. Why? Because if I eat that last piece (yes lets face it there's usually only one left) then I really am an addict. If I don't then I still retain some dignity and control (albeit completely in my mind).


Reporting last week 
AP - achieved :-), EP - partially achieved (didn't do the hand weight workout), MP - achieved :-)
This week
AP: Look at bikes on trademe.
EP: Walk to/from school with boys on Tuesday, go for a swim on Friday, do a resistance workout on Wednesday and Thursday.
MP: Paint my nails.